Hoping the sun will come out.

The past four weeks have been a crazy emotional roller coaster. I moved out of my apartment, sold my belongings, said tons of goodbyes, and left my life for a supposed 2 years in the Peace Corps. That was tough. One day before we leave, plans are changed and we're sent to the Dominican Republic. That was totally fine with me. I got to see another country and learn a new culture. I wasn't however prepared for the extent of this whole experience.

When I said goodbye to my host family in the Dominican, they cried. I walked out the door and waved goodbye, but this was something that I was not expecting. I just spent 3 weeks getting to know this family and now it's over. The Doña said her door was always open for me to come back if ever I were to be in Santo Domingo again.

Following this, I am thrown unexpectedly back into American culture without giving a second thought to what we have just experienced in the DR.

Our flight Wednesday morning was delayed out of DR, so we ended up missing our flight to Honduras. We were rescheduled for a flight today and put up in a hotel by the airlines.... Lots of other things have happened too, like lots of people being sick and crazy scheduling, but we're safe and sound in a hotel in Miami and it looks like we're going to be here for several more days and we will try to leave again next week.

We're safe in a hotel. However, I do not feel that safe is really the word to describe how I feel right now. We are in a super nice hotel overlooking the Miami Bay, complete with running water (and hot water), swimming pools, air conditioning, and fluffy sheets, pillows, and comforters. Not the same scene I was in a mere 2 days ago. I feel guilty. Really guilty. I am trying to devote two years of my life to serving in the developing world, but instead I am being spoiled with U.S. tax dollars and fluffy pillows, and lots of them.

All I wanted was to live simply with a little host family, taking bucket showers and sleeping under a mosquito net, and hopefully learn and grow in the process. I guess that's too much to ask.

It's still unclear as to why we weren't able to fly down today though, which is frustrating. There are 2 senior staff members from D.C. down here now though so we're going to do some training activities and hang out in the community here in Miami.

This has been hard. It's hard to stay positive when doors keep getting slammed in your face and when everywhere you turn, plans are changed, all the while you are carrying around tons of luggage awaiting who knows what. I usually am one that just goes with whatever happens; for example, doing the Peace Corps in the first place. I applied on sort of a whim, and doors opened for me to do it, so I went through with it. Now, though, it's tough not to take all these bad things that are happening as signs that maybe this isn't what I am supposed to be doing, but does it mean that for the 49 other members of this group? However, it's not like I can just walk away. I'm in Miami with two suitcases full of stuff awaiting a long adventure. I don't have a job or a place to live back at home. What else would I do?

I just have to wait it out.


It's been a long day. I hope tomorrow is better.