only if you know Spanish

Eres el Resultado de Ti Mismo

Tú eres el resultado de ti mismo, no culpes a nadie nunca,

nunca te quejes de nadie ni de nada, porque

fundamentalmente tú has hecho lo que quieres de tu vida.

Acepta la responsabilidad de edificarte a ti mismo y el valor

de acusarte a ti del fracaso, para volver a empezar corregirte,

el triunfo del verdadero hombre surge las cenizas del error.

Nunca te quejes de tu pobreza, tu soledad o tu suerte,

enfréntate con valor y acepta que de una y otra manera son

el resultado de tus actos y las pruebas que has de ganar.

No olvides que la causa de tu presente es tu pasado como la causa

de tu futuro es tu presente.

Aprende de los fuertes, de los audaces, imita a los valientes,

a los enérgicos, a los vencedores, a quienes no

aceptan situaciones, quienes vencieron a pesar de todo.

Piensa menos en tus problemas y más en tus estudios y los

problemas sin alimentarlos morirán.

Aprende a nacer desde el dolor y a ser más grande que el más

grande de los obstáculos.

Mírate en el espejo de ti mismo, comienza a ser sincero contigo,

reconociendote a ti mismo y serás libre y fuerte,

y dejarás de ser un títere de las circunstancias porque

tú mismo eres tu destino y nadie puede sustituirte en la construcción

de tu propio destino.

Levántate y mira por las mañanas y respira la luz del amanecer.

Tú eres parte de la fuerza de tu vida ahora,

despierta, lucha, camina, decídete y triunfarás en la vida.

Nunca pienses en la suerte porque la suerte es

el pretexto de los fracasados.

-Pablo Neruda (1904-1973)

A couple days out of the week, we play soccer. In our little town, there is a cancha (field) that is made for 5 v 5 soccer. We rent the cancha for an hour and play some fast-pace soccer on this quick artificial turf. We usually have more than 10 of us though, so today we had 3 teams of 6 and played a little cut throat. There are some pretty awesome soccer players in our group. I can’t act like I’m not impressed. It’s great fun and my touch is finally starting to come back. I think in another 2 years, I’ll be a pretty damn good soccer player if we keep this up. The only problem will be finding guys that will let me play with them slash a girl’s team that I can play with.

Sometimes among the other PCT’s (Peace Corps Trainees), I am reminded that although I am from the same country as everyone else, the South should be it’s own country because of the vast differences that exist between us. For instance, I think that Alabama may be the last state in the country to allow corporal punishment aka spanking in the schools. Even Honduras is moving away from that. Also, it was brought to my attention that not everyone in the US knows what bush-hogging is. I thought that was common knowledge. Guess not. I got weird looks and no one else (except for my one friend from Gainsville) knew what a bush hog was. “You know that thing that goes behind a tractor and cuts the grass.” “Yeah, Jessie, we call that a mower.” Whatever. It’s a bush hog.

I walk a lot. I wish that I could wear one of those step things to see exactly how far I walk every day. At least I’ll have nice legs after two years of this. Maybe PC will just let me have a burro (donkey) or a bike. As I walk a lot, I pass dozens of people. Imagine a town where most people don’t have cars, people hang out on the streets, and everyone greets you with an “Adios”, “Que le vaya bien” (may you go well, literally), or more commonly, the pirops (compliments, although this sounds like a positive thing. They’re more annoying and compliment isn’t a good translation.).

We have less than 3 weeks of training left here in FBT. Days pass ever so slowly, but the weeks seem to fly. I have been in Honduras for a little over a month now and away from home for 2 months. At times that seems crazy because I can’t believe it’s already been that long, but other times I’m just ready to be done with training and the end doesn’t seem to be getting any closer.

I have been working at the orphanage every day this week, and at times, it has been extremely overwhelming, yet so gratifying. Today when I walked out towards the orphanage, which is out in a little field, about 8 little boys came running towards me, calling my name.... “Jessica! Jessica!” Their hugs are awesome and even though they have runny noses and probably have never brushed their teeth before in their life, they’re impossible to turn away without a hug and a kiss or two or three.

This week is a good week. I am pleased with where I am and where this crazy journey seems to be taking me. 8 weeks down, and about 108 more to go.

fotos

check out some pics.

that's all.

Ups and Downs

After weeks of literally elation and feeling as if nothing could go wrong.....

.... I had a pretty rough day yesterday. Then when I woke up today, I just did not want to be here. Reluctantly, I pushed through though. I guess that's just how it goes.

I can't really describe what it feels like to hit that wall. Everything is great at first: language learning, the adventure of a new town, the beauty of a developing nation, and the simplicity that comes with it. Yesterday I was frustrated with how my language skills are developing and how I did in my last interview. Then, people on the street who speak to you and call you gringas, suddenly make you mad, and you just want to cuss them out. I'm tired of walking everywhere (I live pretty far away from town). All in all, just frustration. Maybe a bit of culture shock and a craving for a bacon cheeseburger or some good chicken fingers and a sweet tea.

I just want a shower with clean water, one less tortilla, and maybe a bike to get me from here to there.

This morning we taught kindergartners how to brush their teeth in a local school. It was fun, but it's amazing how different kids are here. Classrooms are much different and the behavior of the students is a whole different animal.... some good and some bad.

This afternoon was tough too. I spent the day in the orphanage again. We painted with watercolors and read children's books in Spanish to the 20+ younger children there. I held a little girl over the toilet (because they don't have toilet seats) while she had diarrhea and tried not to vomit myself.... but then I got to rock a baby, give her a bottle, and sing her to sleep. Soon there were about 6 little girls huddled around me, listening to me sing.

These are the moments that allow me to carry on and face another day, knowing that I am here for a reason. These are the moments that bring tears to my eyes and remind me of the reality that I am a part of right now.

**By the way, if anyone is interested in making a donation or helping out in some way with this orphanage, I would greatly appreciate it. It's quite overwhelming and there's so much we could do, but don't have the resources to do so. If you think of something or are interested, let me know. Email me or something.

My dollar is up. With only $3 a day, I have to use them sparingly.

I feel like I have so much to say and write about, but it´s just so hard to find the time to sit down with slow computers and type it all out. Next time I will go ahead and type out my blog and bring it to the internet place and just upload it.

I am really enjoying things here. Life is simple. I'm always full and having new adventures daily. Today FBT went really fast. We spent the day learning about OM, Oddessy of the Mind. This was absolutely hysterical to me that they are trying to do OM programs here in Honduras. It was awesome though. We did practice competitions and problem solving. If you don't know what OM is, well, you're missing out. 

We went to the Orphanage last week to meet the kids there that we will be working with for the next 5 weeks. It was tough. Really tough. There are 44 kids in the center, most of which were abandoned. They don't have many resources at all, but hopefully we will be able to just hang out with them and love on them. Many of them are malnurished or suffer from FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) or maybe even HIV. It's hard to tell and it breaks your heart. 

My family is great and I enjoy ever second with them. My mom is very affectionate and she gives great hugs. Que rico son sus abrazos! she always tells me..... I'm also getting a lot closer to my sisters and the millions of cousins that I have.  It really makes me want to have a big family.

We've had birthday parties, soccer games, school visits, and so much more.... I have so many pictures too, but also this connection is too slow to upload. I will try again soon. 

efe be te

I love Honduras already. Things are going really well here and I am so spoiled. It really is almost pathetic as to how spoiled I am. This cannot really be my reality in Honduras. I am staying with a family that has quite a large house. They do have to have a large house though, because there are 11 people in the house right now counting myself. 3 guys and 8 girls. It's so much fun! The food here is incredible and I feel like I'm already gaining weight. Haha. I'm sure that I will loose it the second I am by myself in my site without someone serving me every meal, and considering the budget I will be living on as well... I also have hot water here. For the first time in over a month, I took a hot enough shower to fog up the mirror. I can't tell you how exciting this is after taking showers that literally take your breath away because they are so cold for nearly a month.

Right now I am in a process of training called FBT (Field Base Training). During this time we have Spanish classes in the morning (7:30-11:30) and then we go home for lunch. In the afternoons, we have more training, but finally we are learning about the jobs/projects we will actually be doing during our service. I am mainly going to be doing a project called TEAM (Teaching English and Methologies). This is a project set up to teach English to teachers. The Honduran government has recently added English in grades 4-6 and most of the teachers don't speak English, much less how to teach it. That's where we come in. We provide a 6 month session of classes to teachers 2 hours a week where we teach them English and give them ideas to use in their own classroom. I'm getting pretty excited about it.

There are also lots of other projects that we will get involved in as well: coaching girls basketball (yay!), girls soccer, and starting baseball programs (not yay. damn emperialism.). I can also work with midwives and young pregnant women in the community. During FBT, my Spanish class is not actually going to have class every day. Instead, four days a week myself and two others are going to work with an orphange here to paint murals in the community. We're starting on this on Friday.

I'm forming good relationships here. It's really amazing how we become to depend on each other is this new world of ours. Culture shock still hasn't hit me and I'm wondering how or if it will hit me this time. There are days of frustration, but Honduras is still new a week in and I am so excited about life here for the next few years.

I hope to post more pictures soon, but I'm too scared to bring my laptop to the internet place. I've taken lots.

Good luck to my students starting 8th grade! And also to all the teachers! Woop woop. Tomorrow I have my own school adventure in a 2nd grade Honduran classroom.

I miss you all.